July 30, 2002

After stumbling upon this, I've determined one of the things that has been odd about my life lately: I haven't been reading. To clarify, I should say that I haven't been reading books. I've always loved to read, and have been reading since a stupidly young age. I will read anything I find lying around the house, even if it's only and old instruction book to a long lost appliance. I am one of those people who reads the back of the cereal boxes, (or whatever is available), when they eat.

My problem has always been that, despite my love of reading, I very rarely get any satisfaction from reading fiction. I want some books that cater to my quirks, and they're not too easy to find. (The Harry Potter books have been a godsend; the first (and only) novels I've been able to obsess over.) One of the reasons I find shoujo manga so enjoyable is that it fills a niche that I wasn't able to fill with general reading. That applies to anime vs. American TV and movies as well. As a result, I find that most of the books I've read the past 7 or 8 years have been geeky non-fiction. Textbook stuff mostly.

I have a hard time reading science fiction or fantasy novels, so I generally don't. I still haven't figured out why I have to read it more slowly, or why it makes my brain skip. I weaned myself on a little Asimov, which I like, but the only other sci-fi book I've been able to get through successfully has been the Dune series, and Flip only knows why that is, considering Dune is a monstrosity.

I love non-fiction. As a child I read Stephen Hawking's A Brief History of Time and have had a taste for similar-type books and magazines ever since. My non-fiction preferences are science, language, and ancient history.

I love epic poetry, but mostly for academic reasons. I like to compare translations with the original language. I am fascinated with language, although I don't have the knack for fluency (witness my sucky English grammer!) Rhyme, meter, and metaphor, I could drown myself in it. I also love early-mid 20th century American poetry, and 19th century English and American poetry (particularly the trancendentalist lot). I run screaming from most 19th century prose.

The fiction I like falls into these main categories: things like Brave New World, 1984, and Lord of the Flies, which beat you repeatedly over the head with symbolism, 'young adult' type books such as anything by Madeleine L'Engle (Wrinkle in Time, and others), humor (Erma Bombeck, The Hitchhiker's Guide), and finally, things that hit close to home emotionally (Catcher in the Rye, Ordinary People).

What I find usually happens is that I may read a classic, or a random novel pulled off the shelf, and while I may think that it was well written, or have a lot of other really good points, I just won't like it. It's really depressing to finish a book and say to yourself, "That was an excellent piece of work; too bad I hated it." Much like fine arts, I suppose, where you can recognize great style, technique, and form, and still it just does nothing for you.

Perhaps there's just a certain lack of charm. The American History textbook my friend and I had in high school was so witty and charming that we wanted to swipe ourselves a copy when we graduated. We couldn't, of course, becuase we're two goody-two-shoes who would have our conscience gnawing at us, but we did look into asking our favorite teacher if we could aid in the disappearance of two books, but leave money in their wake. Amazon.com didn't have the specific edition we wanted, since it was a little old.

So, I'm looking for some 'charming' books. Any recommendations?

Usa-p internally wept for Kyou at 08:13 | link |
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July 29, 2002

To tide myself over while I wait for the release of DV chapter 9 later this week, I've reacquainted myself with all the wonderful writing at The Puppy Farm. Sirius/Remus in all their playful canine glory. Rowr!

Started rewatching Slayers Next. Gourry is always adorable. If Gourry was MY bodyguard... whooo! That's it. I absolutely have to find a plushie of Gourry, and one of him when he's wearing the jellyfish costume. Anyone who can tell me where I can get one can have my soul.

Still, I like Lina x Gourry, though I'm afraid to search for fic.

Usa-p internally wept for Kyou at 23:09 | link |
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I love Whose Line Is It Anyway? Colin, Ryan, and Greg, the obnoxious American are my favorites. Without fail, every time Colin and Ryan play the game where the audience members move them around like dolls, the audience members will shove one's face in the other's crotch. Much squealing is done by fangirls everywhere.

The show is so cute. I could watch it for hours, and I do whenever I can.

Usa-p internally wept for Kyou at 22:18 | link |
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July 28, 2002

I've been so disorganized lately. Not that I'm organized to begin with, but there are certain things that I never misplace like my hairbrushes and my manga, both of which are now mysteriously AWOL. I almost couldn't find my sneakers, but I found those lurking somewhere. Where could those brushes have gone off to?

Usa-p internally wept for Kyou at 05:24 | link |
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July 26, 2002

She posted this over a month ago and somehow it slipped my notice. I'm on the SBRL ML, too. I specifically look out for her stuff. How did I miss it? Bad Usa; no treat!

Last bit of the Shoujocon non-report will be around as soon as I flip my sleep schedule back to the way the rest of the world has it. Since it's noon, after all, and I haven't gone to bed yet.

Usa-p internally wept for Kyou at 12:03 | link |
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July 25, 2002

I hate the word 'nub'. I don't ever want to read another fanfic that tries to use 'nub' in an erotic manner. Just... no.

Usa-p internally wept for Kyou at 07:10 | link |
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July 24, 2002

I am annoyed because I can't find the bag with my 3 volumes of Lumen Lunae and vol of Max Lovely in it. I'm certain I left Jersey with it, but I'm not completely positive I brought it home. Grrr.

Part two of Shoujocon.

Saturday:

-Alarm didn't go off. Luckily I set it several hours before I had to get up, so it worked out ok.
-Brought my jars peanut butter and jelly to the con suite. Hung out there putting together puzzles for a little while. Mmmm, peanut butter.
-Cel painting workshop. Mine came out better this year, but there were a severe lack of colors to work with.
-Chrissy only caught the middle of Gravitation on Friday, so since they were reshowing 1-4, she went to see it. I went too. Again. Then I forgot to leave for the fan parody panel. Grr.

-Someone was playing Utena music on the piano again. Not just "The Sunlit Garden", but also random background music including Akio's car theme. I asked them if they would play it while we whacked Akio's car at the Whack-a-thon. I got to whack Akio's evil evil car with a huge stick {which wasn't so much a stick anymore considering how the stick got bent more than the pinata}. When I saw it on the schedule, it made the entire con worth it just with that. I stood behind an Utena cosplayer in line. We were explaining to those not familiar with the series exactly why Akio's car is the embodiment of all that is unholy. And the car would not die! The whole room would chant, "Kill that car! Kill that car!" and it took forever just to get a dent in it. It was incredible. A catboy finally managed to smack off one of the wheels. The roar of cheering that came out of the room then was amazing. Everytime the Utena girl in front of me was up to whack it she would get triple the cheers. A FFVIII Selphie cosplayer knelt before her to offer Utena her costume nunchaku. Utena took them from her a la the Sword of Dios. The car would still not die. The Utena girl also had her own bamboo stick. It still would not die. There was another guy who pulled out REAL metal nunchaku on his second time around. After some fancy moves he really dented it! Cheer! Cheer! Some people tried punching and kicking it, but it still held on. The guy with the nunchaku came up twice more. Then he hit it with the Utena's bamboo stick, and finally he just did a spin kick to it and sent it flying {right towards me! I had to back up before the wooden stand fell on me} There was a mad rush to mutilate the car and steal the candy. I managed to grab a piece of the left rear fender & headlight, but someone got to the Ohtori license plate before me because I was slow and not paying attention. So, yes, I now own a piece of the evil Akio car that wouldn't die. It was the most fun I've had in quite a while.

-Cosplay contest. Ran into an old con pal of mine. Small world. Although we were already seated, the cosplay contest took forever to get started. Our side of the room amused itself by playing volleyball with a floating balloon. Went on for ages. Someone eventually added a second balloon, and it all went downhill from there. People started writing "Kotori's Head", "Fuuma's Head", "Seishirou's Eyeball" on the balloons. Our side of the room was definitely the more fun side of the room. The kid I knew was the one who eventually started popping them and making everyone yell. After a short while without balloons someone went and distributed a whole pack and it was madness. In the good way, of course.
Cosplay skits finally started. Lots of beautiful costumes. Pretty Deedlit. Pretty Pretear. There was a group of Yami no Matusei cosplayers that I met in the elevator which made their own stuffed Gushoshin. They looked incredible, but they didn't enter the contest. There was a male Youji that looked exactly like Youji, down to height, hair, and body build. There was also a cute female Duo who was Duo incarnate in size, build, body language and mannerisms. I liked her too.

-Shounen-ai Love-in was next. Wasn't going to run as late as it did last year. Chrissy went, but I had already seen the first 3, including the Gravi OAVs [Too much Gravi! It also turns out they played eps 5-8 (again) for the viewers choice in the room next door.] I went up to the con suite to drink lots of hot chocolate and run out of hot water again. Sigh. Went down for Kaze to Ki no Uta which I actually liked a whole lot more than I thought I would, especially since it's a classic, and a period piece. I don't often like classics, usually because they're period pieces. Went back up to the con suite and got involved in a game of Clue, so I missed Legend of the Blue Wolves. Ah well.

Then sleep. Or not, since I still had the sore throat.

Usa-p internally wept for Kyou at 18:30 | link |
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I was just reading some Gekka Kaijin Lumen Lunae translations... He wants to do what with his mother?! O_O;; Whooo, everyone in this manga likes to pimp themselves out, don't they? Not that I mind, but O_O. Still, very tasty. Me likes.

Part one of my Shoujocon non-con report.

Thursday & Friday:

-Arrived Thursday night to check in and then made the semi-long walk along the side of the highway in the dark so we could get yummy chicken fingers at the closest food place. Mmm, tastes like chicken.

-Friday morning met some kids in the video room. They were fun. We watched Mahou Tsukai Tai and got freaked out by the opening, and that weird duck-wand-thing.
-Watched the CLAMP Campus Detectives in all their pedophilic booty-short glory. I love Nokoru and his fan.
-I always imagined those who sang karaoke would be at least able to hold enough of the tune to keep the song recognizable. Some were ok.
-CLAMP panel discussion consisted of speculations about X and the love of the CCD complete with their booty-shorts.
-Tried to watch the Tokyo Babylon live action movie; I nearly gouged out my own eyes. 15 minutes of the middle of that was enough.
-Putzed around in the con suite. Drank lots of hot chocolate; ran out of hot water. Why me?

-Dealers room. I got a couple of cheap videos I was missing, an old issue of Asuka with Kamui being gorgeous on the cover, and a too-expensive pencil board featuring the wetsexy!Kamui pic I love so much. For Flip knows what reason, there was a guy selling stuffed animals. Not anime related animals, mind you, but just... obscure animals. We all know my weakness for obscure fuzzy aminals. There was a man and a woman at the counter. The woman had a fuzzy squid on her head. It was such a cute squid. Not as cute as Squishey, but mostly because he was small. The man immediately pegged me as an easy sale and used my weakness against me. I said that I had been looking for a fuzzy porcupine and, lo, he HAD a fuzzy porcupine! He also showed me a fuzzy mammoth and a fuzzy kangaroo rat. He had several different moose! I could not leave without a moose. I have a moosie farm, after all. I was trying to decide which moose [he let me cuddle them and get attached to them... evil evil evil man] and it's a good thing I could only afford one because he was trying to get me to take them all. I would have, too. So... I went to an anime con and I bought a stuffed moose. Just so you know, I saw two other people with various stuffed moose! So there! [Steve loves the new moose. Especially because since it's sorta part puppet, when he bites Moosie's nose, Moosie can bite him back. Yeah... TMI, I know...]

-Got teased by Chrissy about buying a moose at an anime con. Got teased some more. Would not let her play with Moosie.
-"Welcome to Otakudom" fan parody. Still funny. Was at the prescreening last year. Have my own copy now.
-Attended 'crossing over' panel. A bit about shows that aren't quite shoujo or shounen, but more about mainstream shows that are popular both here and in Japan. Fairly interesting.
-Many pianos at our disposal. "The Sunlit Garden" was a popular piece.
-Dance Dance Revolution contest wasn't much of a contest. Didn't stay to watch for long. It needed some people on maniac level.
-Watched the Gravitation marathon. 1-13. I first saw it at last year's Shoujocon. I own Gravitation. It's not my favorite, but yet I managed to watch it more often this weekend than I could have ever thought possible.
-Sleep? "What be this sleep?" said the girl with the sore throat. Of course, a sore throat. Tossing and turning all night long. Sigh.

Now I need to get some sleep for tonight.

Usa-p internally wept for Kyou at 05:00 | link |
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July 22, 2002

Shoujocon was a blast! I had so much fun. One day I will cosplay, I swear!

Details later. I caught up on my blog reading, but I still have hundreds of e-mail to wade through.

Usa-p internally wept for Kyou at 18:25 | link |
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July 18, 2002

I'm off to Shoujocon tomorrow. Off to make merry and flutter around with a big goofy grin on my face. It doesn't start until Friday, but we're checking in the night before. When I get back I'll blab about whatever I can remember, but don't expect a proper con report. I'm a terrible storyteller.

Today on the train some woman was carrying around the head of a female mannequin by its hair. It was creepy nevermind because mannequins are up there on the list of Things I Can Tolerate But Still Spook Me, but when she sat down with it in her lap I had flashbacks of Kamui cradling Kotori's disembodied head. The head didn't look anything like Kotori, and the woman certainly didn't look like Kamui, but it was really freaky all the same.

A friend of mine is finally reading the Harry Potter books. I am happy to have a new fan to gush stupidly with. Our conversation caused me to dig up old essays I had posted to various mailing lists, back when I remembered how to write well enough to write an essay. It seems the older I get the more I forget how to construct a sentence. The essays weren't called "Why I Don't Loathe Draco Malfoy, Although He Could Use a Good Spanking," "Why Did I Spend All This Time Writing an Essay About a So-Far Two-Dimensional Character," or "Proof That, As a Fangirl, I Have Nothing Better to Do With My Time Than Debate This," but only because I couldn't think of anything more concise. Perhaps I'll post them here if I still feel like it when I get back on Sunday.

Usa-p internally wept for Kyou at 02:57 | link |
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July 16, 2002

Dad installed something on my computer again. Said it's a game, but it obviously came requiring another program which has taken over my files. My other programs do not like that the files have been taken over and have decided to not work properly. I want to scream, but I just don't have the energy to. I need to stop coming home. I explained to him for the billionth time that he has to stop doing this because it's not good for my heart. He has promised not to, but then he said that the other 999,999,999 times too.

Have headache, ow. Sleepy.

Usa-p internally wept for Kyou at 23:43 | link |
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Who's going to Shoujocon? I'M going to Shoujocon! Who's going to happily drown in the excessive estrogen and fangirl drool? I'M going to happily drown in the excessive estrogen and fangirl drool! Who's a happy happy little zorilla? I'M a happy happy little zorilla. ::squeak squeak::

WHEE!

Excited much? Nah.

Usa-p internally wept for Kyou at 13:58 | link |
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CLAMP is releasing... MORE ARTBOOKS!

::DANCE DANCE DANCE:: Happy joy!

Usa-p internally wept for Kyou at 03:50 | link |
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July 15, 2002

Steve's computer now has a new hard drive. I'm glad I'm not the one who has to do all the software reinstallation. However, since I like all of my preferences practically the opposite of the default, I still have to spend a lot of time putting things back the way I like. Sigh. Now to make these cursors black and rid them of those awful shadows.

Usa-p internally wept for Kyou at 22:37 | link |
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I am quiz whore, hear me roar!


What Obscure Animal are you?

More on Zorillas:
Zorillas make very affectionate pets
Zorillas are nocturnal and carnivorous
Zorillas spray scent as a defense, just like their relatives the Skunk

I sound sickening, don't I. However, that's accurate.
And how cute is that little fuzzball? I want one. Time for me to make Steve track me down a stuffed aminal version since he still has to get me a fuzzy porcupine.

Usa-p internally wept for Kyou at 19:42 | link |
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Wiping and reformatting hard drives is such a simple matter when it comes out of nowhere and causes you to lose unbacked-up data; try to do it on purpose and that's a whole nother ballgame.

Stupid computer... ERASE, I COMMAND THEE!

Ah, well. I suppose that means I just putz around online until Mr.Techie Man comes by. ::putz putz::

Usa-p internally wept for Kyou at 18:48 | link |
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July 14, 2002

I spent most of last night removing the several gigs of anime episodes off Steve's computer. Steve's hard drive is dying, and it's going out with a bang. Actually, it's less a bang than an incessant high pitched buzzy noise. Computers these days - they're just not meant to last. My hearty seventeen year old original Baby Mac mocks them. I love my Baby Mac, six inch b&w screen and all. He's been by my side since I was four years old and will continue to be by my side indefinitely, which is more than I can say for some other computers. ::glares::

My computer never works correctly because it is made of random mix-n-match cheap parts because Dad is just like that. It makes sense that it should be buggy. Steve's computer, however, is brand new and name brand. At least it lasted longer than its predecessor.

Usa-p internally wept for Kyou at 23:42 | link |
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July 13, 2002

Because I like silly little survey-type things and this one has been making the rounds:

X/TB Fandom character(s) you'd most like to...

* spend the rest of your life with in perfect bliss: Kusanagi. I am of the few who adore him. Kitties!

* have an emotionally void but wicked hot one-night stand with: Hmm. I'd have to say Subaru because he's currently emotionally void, and sexually-frustrated virgins are fun. Someone's gotta do it.

* watch having an emotionally void but wicked hot one-night stand: Toughie. Seishirou x Subaru, though it probably wouldn't be as emotionally void as they might want to believe. It would certainly be mad hot though.

* set up with your best friend: Karen. Would really like her, I bet. I like her.

* have as your best friend: Sorata. He's intelligent, fun, and thinks Kamui is adorable. Works for me.

* get wasted with: Subaru. Flip, that has the potential to be mad funny. It also has the potential to be really depressing, but I wuoldn't miss the slim chance of seeing a loose Subaru. Recipe for fun: Add 1 loose Subaru to 1 crushing Kamui. Mix well. Serve hot.

* employ as a live-in masseur: Kusanagi. You know he'd be good with his hands... dear Flip, did I just say that?!

* use as a human pillow: Kusanagi. Yuzuriha seems to agree with me. [reference to a color pic that I can't dig up at the moment]

* bring home to meet the 'rents: Karen, because she's strong, sweet, and female. I would have said Kusanagi, but my family is severely matriarchal and I doubt there is a man in the world I could bring home to them that they wouldn't eye suspiciously. Seriously, all men that are born into or that marry into this family get their life forced sucked out of them and are turned into slaves. They'd probably be ok with Kusanagi though because he's got a steady job, is introspective, and doesn't say much (prerequisites for slavery).

* have as your sibling: Kamui. Oh wait... this question isn't "* who you'd like to pimp out".

* tie up in your basement and kick when you're feeling frustrated: Hinoto. Need I say more?

* tie up in your bed and lick when you're feeling frustrated: Kamui! Yummy yummy Kamui because he has 'molest me' written all over him. But I don't share... ok maybe I'll share him, but only with Subaru or Keiichi.

That was kinda fun.

Usa-p internally wept for Kyou at 15:56 | link |
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Finally back in the snuggly comfort of... home? 'Home' as in Steve's house, not 'home' as in Dad's house. I've given up trying to define 'home' for many years now. Those who knew me in my house-hopping days during high school will understand. 'Home' is the destination and tends to be dependant on the day of the week.

For those of you who are squicky about people talking about their periods, skip the rest of this post.
Mom took everyone to Six Flags: Hurrican Harbor in Jersey yesterday, as a last treat before they headed back west. This, for those who don't know, is a new cute little water park; water slides, tube slides, wave pool, the whole bit. I packed my stuff the night before, which is to say, I knew where my bathing suit was. Mom (& Co.) are horrible overpackers. Mom because the world might end and you never know when you will need a toothpick, and Co. because they need all their amenities. This leads to tons of bags and who is going to carry them all? I'll tell you one person who won't: me.

Right before I went to bed, dear old monthly pain visited me and laughed at the timing. I did not laugh. However it has never stopped me from doing water-related activites in the past, since my body is usually nice about that. But that meant I had something to pack after all. I grabbed a large handful of pads and shoved them into my mother's main bag. I told her I did this. I showed her that I did this. Everyone saw me do this. I packed one thing.

A few hours later we got there after everyone rushed around packing stupidity and stopping for food and not having an EZ Pass etc. We slowly floated around the 'river' in a tube for a while, which got us sufficiently wet, before we headed to the big raft ride. I wanted everyone to ride together for the first ride before we split up. On the way up the stairs to the ride I smelled something funky, which set my fear reflexes into overdrive. The one phobia I have that is stronger than spiders, is that particular kind of sickness. I panicked and refused to move. Then I just said I was leaving and couldn't go any further. Mom's friend came down with me where she mentioned that I was starting to bleed through.

Great.

So we get to the lockers looking for pads when... they're not there...
They have to be there. I put them there. We took everything out of the locker and rummaged through everyone's bags.
None. Not there. Mother unpacked them. UNPACKED THEM. We had a bag full of towels... Who needs towels?! You dry off on the way to the parking lot as it is.
None in the bathrooms either, but luckily one of the janitor ladies brought me back a bagful, so I was fine for the rest of the day and got to have fun.

If I was anyone else I might have been horribly panicked or embarrassed, but I'm me and I don't care about that sort of thing. I was in a sort of amused disbelief about it, but I didn't want to spend the rest of the day in the bathroom. Guess what was there on the couch when we got home? Mom put them in a pink plastic bag, so I didn't recognize them on the way out. To be fair, Mom meant to put them back in, she just forgot.

Forgot! ::shakes head::

Usa-p internally wept for Kyou at 15:05 | link |
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July 11, 2002

Where are the custom t-shirt/cap online stores besides cafepress? I need a black baseball cap type thing, and I want something cool. I thought maybe a yaoi-oriented seme/uke cap, but I'd rather not have to constantly explain that one. Still, something cool, though what exactly, I have no idea. Something sufficiently geeky.

Usa-p internally wept for Kyou at 13:23 | link |
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July 10, 2002

Lumen Lunae makes my capillaries burst.

Mom's house is still crowded. I'm still here. It's been a week. Everyone's on everyone's nerves now. Well, except for me, ironically enough.

Got some time to myself and went to Book Off. Found Lumen Lunae on the dollar rack and dear Flip is it tasty. Yum. She who recommended it to me may have my kidney in gratitude; or my spleen if she so prefers.

Spent way too much at Book Off. Didn't even have enough left for the Gravitation volumes they had.

Did I mention Lumen Lunae is yummy? Very yummy? The art is even beginning to grow on me. Very feline. Of course that they all have pointy ears helps too.

My cell phone is being stupid. It won't let me make any calls or check my voice mail. It also only tells me if I missed a call if it feels like it, and may or may not correctly tell me who it was. Grr.

Sorry for incoherent posts. Kind of scatterbrained.

Usa-p internally wept for Kyou at 21:45 | link |
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July 8, 2002

I haven't fallen off the face of the earth, I've just been really busy. This is the first chance I've gotten to go online all weekend. Friends of mine and my mother are in from Washington State. The oldest daughter is getting married. None of them were supposed to be staying at my mother's house. Regardless, they're all staying here. So am I. After all, this is the house with all the fun and excitement. Too bad it goes away when the guests do. There were 11 here last night.

Everyone was/is all disorganized. No one knew anyone's phone numbers or addresses, or times and places. Everyone misplaced and forgot things in all the wrong boroughs. And since they're all small-town rural folk, I got to play tour guide and constant travel companion as they ran around matching up people with their belongings. I don't think I've been back and forth to Manhattan so much in such a short time in my whole life. Mom says I must have dropped a couple of pounds just doing all this hopping around.

I'm having a blast, and everyone else seems to be having a great time too. I don't normally like crowds or company, but it's a little different when they're out-of-towners, and I'd stayed with them on the west coast for weeks at a time on more than one occasion.

The wedding was nice. Mom looked really pretty. She also got drunk and did the chicken dance (not that I told them to go sneak up and film it or anything... ::whistles innocently::) It's been a very good week. More details as I can get around to it. Some of them won't be leaving for a while.

Usa-p internally wept for Kyou at 23:13 | link |
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July 4, 2002

God, you know?! How many times do I have to yell at my Dad before he will listen? Last night at 2:30 am he booted me off my computer because he had something 'important' to do. What, perhaps, could that be? Could it be... INSTALLING things? ::pulls hair out:: I tell him time and time and time again not to EVER install anything on this computer. That goes double for non-essential things like games. [It's not even worth it to dig up the tons of posts relating to this]

There are reasons why I blow my top about this. Dad does not know what he is doing. He puts things any old place he feels like it, and half the time he doesn't even know what has been installed! I try my best to keep from having to reformat this computer every six months [if it even lasts that long] and the last thing I need is him installing Flip-knows-what Flip-knows-where. He also tinkers. You can not tinker mindlessly on a computer and not expect it to die. Dare I bring up 'The Great Wipe' of last August?

So now, (after they woke me up at 7:45am because fighting ladyfriend had to come down and make noise), I'm on my computer and it's acting funny. Again. Because he 'installed a game, it didn't work, so he uninstalled it'. I want to scream very loudly. I can't leave this computer alone! In my calmer moments I BEG please please do not EVER install ANYTHING. Let me do it. This is nothing new.

I hate everyone and everything. I hate them very very much.

Usa-p internally wept for Kyou at 08:55 | link |
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July 3, 2002

Remember how I said there was no way no how I was going to leave this house? I lied. I live down the block from the pool. I thought, this is a good pool day. Am I that lazy that I will not go? (normally the answer to that is yes) So I mentioned to Dad that I would go, but I don't have anyone to go with. While I don't mind going alone, it's just not a whole lot of fun. He said to take the youngins upstairs. I said sure no problem.

So I took the youngsters. It was pretty nice, it would just help if they could swim. The older one can at least touch bottom. The main problem was that the little one never can make up her mind. Up, down, in, out, over here, over there, and all in the span of a minute. Wouldn't mind too much except that it's all the time and over everything. "Do you need a towel?" "No... yes... no... yes... no... yes. Put me here. No, put me there. Now put me where her is." Grrr. Luckily we ran into some of their relatives and they kept the smaller one occupied so I could, you know, breathe.

I doused myself in sunblock. SPF 45. I doused repeatedly. So therefore I got sunburned, but one of those delayed sunburns that only shows up once you're home and trying to rest.

First session ended 3:00 so I took them back and was all ready to shower, maybe run an errand, or most likely sleep, but I was hungry. The mom asked if I could watch them till 5, so I said ok since I was going to take them for pizza anyway. 5 o'clock runs around and no one is home.

I live in a basement. There is nothing to do here except read or putz around on the computer. They both can't read and they can't both use the same computer, expecially the clingy little one (ages 9 and 5). So eventually I climbed into their second story window to unlock their door so they could be in their own house with novelties like chairs and windows and stuff.

It is much hotter up there. I managed to get them both to nap for a few hours, but their mom just never came home. 11pm! 11pm!! How is 11pm the same as 5pm?!

I am not a babysitter. I can't cook, I expect kids to be smart enough to not kill themselves [the older one is, but the little one...], and I can only listen to so much of the little one. How she manages to not use any nominative pronouns is beyond me. "Yes her did." "Her went there." "Why her got her thing." Subject-verb-object is optional too. I know she's a little kid, and I shouldn't rant about it, but it drives me up the wall. Sigh.

I have been waiting to take a nice cold shower all day and to nurse my sunburn. Finally, finally I can. Of course it's now 11:30pm. Yay. Thanks. Did I mention I had errands I wanted to run since I bothered to leave the house to begin with?

Sigh. I'm just annoyed. Got pool plans tomorrow too. I will bring them with me, since that doesn't bother me, but I will not watch them.

Oh yay. Dad's fighting with his ladyfriend now (the mother of the kids.) Sigh.

She just walked to the sink, filled up a water bottle, to go squirt it at my Dad. Yay for maturity. It's times like these when I'm glad no one ever notices that live here.

Usa-p internally wept for Kyou at 23:17 | link |
Suspicious Acorns | Magically Delicious |

90 degrees outside. High of 100 degrees. One HUNDRED degrees. Outside. "And it will feel even hotter! It feels it's 105 degrees." says Mr. Newsman. One hundred FIVE? There is no way no how I am leaving this house. I'm gonna sit here in my basement at my computer where it's probably around 75 degrees.

Usa-p internally wept for Kyou at 11:07 | link |
Suspicious Acorns | Magically Delicious |

July 1, 2002

Day schedules are weird. I don't function well in daylight. Change that: I don't function well in daylight pre 3-4pm. That's why summer is nice, because I can go outside in the evening and pretend it's morning.

So, to catch up on things:

1. Eight-legged Freaks. EXACTLY! A whole movie filled with giant mutant spiders! Yes, it's the giant mutant spiders again. They're everywhere! (See this post and this one.) Whoever made this should be shot just on principle. The posters are everywhere scaring the bejeezus out of me. I know the Harry Potter movie will have some nice giant mutant spiders in it as well as some small non-mutant spiders. Not looking forward to that, I tell ya. At least I already know when to keep my eyes closed.

2. It is cold in here. Very very very cold. It is 'I can't feel my nose' cold. It is 'who needs a refrigerator' cold. It is 'I'm wearing a sweatshirt and 4 blankets' cold. Even when he leaves the windows open in the winter it is never as cold as it is when the air conditioners are running. I understand it's uncomfortable for it to be hot in the house, I'd rather it be cold than hot myself, but this is ridiculous. Why don't we try for room temperature? How about 55 degrees? Does it really have to be just short of the freezing point?

3. Got a wedding coming up. I bought a dress. It is a pretty dress. Not that anyone ever says, "I went to the store to buy me an ugly dress," but it's worth mentioning all the same. Everyone's tying the knot lately. ::shoots glare to significant other who doesn't even read this blog::

Just so happens that my aunt and I sometimes have corresponding tastes in dressy dresses. She went dress shopping with my mom a couple of days ago and bought a particular lacy black dress. Today, with my mother, I walk into the same store, immediately point to said dress and say, "I like that one. That's the one she got, isn't it." Of course it was. I bought it anyway. I don't care if I have the same dress. I wouldn't even care if we both went to the same event in the same dress. But my aunt is anal that way and if she ever finds out that I knowingly bought the dress anyway she will kill me. She thinks I am devil-child as it is.

I am very very picky about clothes. I wear t-shirts and sweatpants year round unless I have to dress up either for something fancy or something 'casual'. I have no desire to spend hours traipsing around the city looking for something I like, especially with my mother who hates shopping as much as I do. She is a ticking time bomb with no patience. She will not accept "I don't like it" as a reason to not like something. "Oh, just try it on anyway," she'll say. "Over my dead body," I will reply. Wash, rinse, repeat. Yes, I am stubborn. She has never understood why I have such strong opinions about certain things (like food and clothes) that really aren't worth fighting about. ...ok this is digressing into a rant about how after 22 years my family should stop trying to make me change my eating and clothing habits considering they have always been the same and it's just irritating that they just can't leave me alone already. It doesn't bother me if I 'go hungry' because I won't touch any of the food. Watching other people around me eat also doesn't bother me because I don't like what they're eating anyway. Argh. It's not like I don't eat enough. Argh. And my hair! "Why don't you cut that hair?" Because I don't want to! I never want to! I've never wanted to! No amount of money would make me want to! Go away! You gave me the hair complex to begin with. ::breathes::

4. I had a fourth, but I've since forgotten it. Nonsensical ranting will cause that.

Usa-p internally wept for Kyou at 22:13 | link |
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